Environmentalists protest new login requirement on RUMP forum, mistaking it for logging.

The RUMP: The party you can count on. One buttock, two buttocks... well, usually that's it. HOPEFULLY that's it.

Not all change is good change. No one likes pennies.

We were the future. Then we were the present. Now we're the future pluperfect.

Did you know? Most tortoises are crepuscular, which means they are active at dawn and dusk during the twilight hours.

Can you believe they're just letting anybody make a forum these days?

The RUMP: We make a lot of puns about butts and beer.

Did you know? The upper part of a tortoise shell is the "carapace," and the bottom part is the "platron."

No admirals allowed.

While you were whining, we went and did something useful.

Did you know? Tortoises have the longest lifespan of any known animal, with some species living more than a century and a half.

The RUMP: Occasionally offensive because not completely humorless.

Every loaf of bread tells a tragic story of grains that could have become beer, but didn't.

Did you know? The Roman military formation called the "testudo," of linked shields, is named after the tortoise.

Be sure you have a balanced diet: ales, lagers, bitters, and hefeweizen.

All improvement is change, but not all change is an improvement.

Did you know? A turtle is any shelled species in the order Chelonii, but tortoises are turtles that live on the land.